Post two: She needs ICU or - IGNORANCE IS BLISS!

Ignorance is bliss. I’ve heard that expression all my life. I never agreed with it. I hate being the only one who doesn’t know what’s going on. HOWEVER, that Wednesday, Ignorance was bliss!
Within minutes of transferring Lauren to the larger E.R. room, filled with much equipment; it seemed to me the room was full of drs., nurses, people plugging in monitoring devices. I was hearing conversations, commands, frustrations all around us, but there seemed to be no time to digest all the things that were happening. As two people began to place oxygen on Lauren, I heard words like seizure (which I reassured them Lauren never had)…I saw them exchange glances to one another…I saw trouble with the IV; words like veins collapsing, can’t find a vein (I offered up somewhere in the conversation that Lauren was so small she once needed a pediatric blood pressure cuff and iv equipment. Someone rushed to get those items. Still can’t get a blood pressure; blood pressure way to low; need to move quickly. I heard words like…central line..They were starting to cut her leg. I quickly asked if she couldn’t have something so she wouldn’t feel the line going in and heard the words …no..blood pressure too low…need her to stay with us!. Somewhere in the pandemonium, Lauren smiled and said she felt like this was an episode of “Grey’s Anatomy.” People chuckled.
I thought Lauren needed me to make sure they were doing everything right, but cutting I wasn’t quite ready for, I felt a little queasy, and someone handed me a coke. The E.R. Director asked me where her husband was. Could I find him. Was I from this area. How far away was family. Lauren herself, between her small yelps of pain (never tears) told me that she heard the dr. say she needed to go to ICU. I briefly told her I thought they were talking about another patient (I really did think that!) …I told you ignorance is bliss. I asked someone, and was told that she was being taken to the intensive care unit of the hospital. They did an x-ray somewhere during that time, and told me Lauren had pneumonia and had sepsis. I had to ask the er doctor what that was. After all, I just thought she needed an iv of fluids (a kind of drive-through fluid service and although painful, we’d be on our way.) What is sepsis??Are you kidding me; body shutting down…It is true that when you hear something so frightening, the mind cannot process!
I stepped outside to call my husband, who was on his way to Dallas for a conference. He and I were going to make a weekend getaway of it, and then visit my daughter and her husband for church on Sunday. As I told him they were putting a central line in Lauren’s leg to give her fluids and whatever…he heard her scream, and said I’m on my way. He said he’d call Jessica, Lauren’s older sister. I called Justin, her new husband, and left a message. I knew he works on the oil wells and wouldn’t get the message til lunch, but I’d leave it for him. I called my sister-in-law and she calmed me. I could almost hear her praying for Lauren. Actually, she told me she’d pray with me, but the attendant came to take her to ICU and I had to hang up. Joan was also on her way, with Elissa, Lauren’s cousin.
A nurse that I just loved how she took care of Lauren suddenly came out of the er room crying! That upset me, although I loved her more for it. There was an emt trainee who was telling his story to a friend of how he couldn’t find a vein, or get any blood out for the blood cultures that were needed. I remember feeling people were staring at me. I wanted to say, “Why are you talking like I’m not here!” I began to feel the panic of the unknown well up inside of me. I went back to the room in time to see the dr. stitch Lauren’s central line in place. I thought to myself, “Why is there not a ton of blood with that?” I remember things out of order, I’m sure, but I spent a lot of time praying and talking to Lauren, and getting out of people’s way. No one ever asked me to leave. They were all working so feverishly, it was as if I wasn’t really there, or at least an uninvolved bystander. There was a need for a catheter, which I questioned. Again, no meds to help with the pain, and to make matters worse, her kidneys were starting to not work. Suddenly there was an ultrasound machine to verify this, and more pandemonium. I wanted to scream, but I thought Lauren needs you to be strong. Help me stay with her Lord. Another dr. said to me, “We’re taking her to ICU. She’s severely dehydrated, has pneumonia, and sepsis. You got her here just in time.” We’ll get her settled there, and we’ll come and get you in 15-20 minutes to see her there and meet the critical care team. Did you find her husband?”
What? My ignorance was no longer blissful! Off they went with her, me telling her I’d see her shortly. The nurse gingerly took me to an empty icu waiting area; and I began to weep, first a little, then a lot. I remember there was no bible in that room. There needed to be one! I thought that 15-20 minute wait was so long in the icu waiting room. I didn’t know what was ahead of us, or how long the next few days would be. When you have no strength, you lean of others. This I know, and I wanted Lauren to have a strong support group, and she would have...

Post One: Beginning of the Worst week of our Lives

Funny how when you wake up in the morning, you never know what the day will bring.

On Wednesay of last week, I attended another academic coaching meeting; this time a Science Coach meeting. Since the state of Texas is coming out with new academic Science standards next year, we were writing curriculum. My daughter Lauren had texted me earlier in the day that she had been throwing up all night, and had stayed home. She had a dr. appointment at 1 p.m. because she was feeling awful. She texted me that she hoped she could drive herself, as she felt horrible. Later, she texted me that the dr. had confirmed her fears; she had the flu – not just any flu – the H1N1 type. She asked if I could come and take care of her. I flippantly texted that her new hubby could do that. (I didn’t know he was out of town for his work.) When I realized how sick she felt, of course, I quit teasing, quickly threw some things in a bag, and drove 2 hours to College Station to take care of her. I envisioned getting lots of Gatorade in her, feeding her crackers, and helping to keep any fever in check; you know, regular mom stuff when one of your children gets a “bug.”

I could see when I arrived that this H1N1 flu was mean. She was quite lethargic, and her fever was going up. I don’t usually overreact when my children get sick; if there’s no blood, I figure “this too will pass.” However, when her fever went to 103, I called my sister-in-law and asked for help. As usual, she gave exact instructions, which I followed, and the fever broke in about an hour. I was afraid to sleep with Lauren, so I slept on her new sofa, with a listening ear. The following day, the fever was gone, but she was throwing up and in the bathroom. I actually thought, “She’ll feel better by tomorrow.” I even voiced my opinion that this flu was on its last leg! However, when she woke up on Friday morning, she had a fever again. She got up, went to the restroom, and I said, “Just sit there a minute, I’m going to the restroom.”…

You need to understand, there is a joke in that. I seem to miss important things in Lauren’s life while visiting the potty room! When her sweet husband asked her to marry him, yep…I was in the bathroom! When I came out, the room was a joyous thunder of congratulations…how did I miss it. I only made a quick trip to the bathroom???

Well, here we go again, as I was returning from the bathroom, I hear a huge noise. Oh my goodness, Lauren had passed out. How could I have left right then?? I ran to her, picked her up, and she said I slapped her.(I have no memory of that = ).
We called my sister-in law again, and the dr. The dr. (who I think was useless) said he’d write a prescription for phenagren and she’d be fine. My sister-in-law said to take her to the e.r….Thankfully, we listened to the latter. I was scared. We don’t go the E.R….I began praying as I somehow got her to the car.
I begged Lauren to “stay with me,” otherwise, I had no clue how to get to the hospital. She managed, but passed out as we arrived at the E.R. I ran in, stepped in front of people (like a good, desperate mom) and started ranting that my daughter kept passing out, and I needed a wheelchair. (I think I also used the term, H1N1 flu") Immediately, people began to take action, coming to the car, getting Lauren out, rushing her inside. By the time I parked the car, there were five people working on her, trying to find a blood pressure. They quickly moved her to a larger emergency room; and then, as they sat in the movies, “All hell broke loose.”
ACTUALLY, however, I would like to change that phrase to what happened for us, "All heaven took charge..."